ten steps


Do you see these? These started it. How do these cables lead to a meltdown in ten easy steps? I'll tell you how.

First. You run all over New York City compiling these sundry items because you're going to be an independent girl and hook up a dub rack all by yourself. Lucky for you to be sooooo smart.

Second. While you're doing this, cleverly make sure that your mobile phone is positioned in your bag so you accidentally text message your friend zeb 48 times in 5 minutes with the following message ".....$.?...." the message makes enough sense that he thinks you're actually trying to tell him something and he calls and leaves messages like "WHAT?????," "Caitlin, it's Zeb, uhm, what the fuck are you doing?"

Third. This is when the sweating starts.

Fourth. Buy a new shirt- a very cute new shirt- as you've completely pitted out the one you're wearing and you need to look nice tonight. Because once the day is over you have a party to go to and your ex-boyfriend will be there and you're terrified he'll look at you and think, "thank god that one got away!"

Fifth. Buy a coffee to calm you down and promptly spill it down the side of your pant leg.

Sixth. Pick a scab that you've acquired whilst playing soccer last week and promptly get blood on the other pant leg.

Seventh. With clean shirt and dirty pants attempt to connect said cables and begin working.

Eighth. Swear at cables, swallow now non-existent pride, and call very cute, yet very smug a/v technician.

Ninth. Listen to him say, "Well, all you really needed to do was..."

Tenth. Total meltdown.